Season 3 - Episode 9
Moving to Australia as a Migrant: What Val Learnt About Friendship, Work and Home
Val grew up in Kyiv, Ukraine, and now lives in Melbourne. Australia is the fifth country she's lived in, after Poland, Georgia and the United States. She joined me on Chinwag Tuesdays, the podcast from Aussie English with Amanda, to talk about what adapting to Australia has really involved, from small talk and slang to keeping her Ukrainian identity alive.
This post covers the main themes from our conversation, for anyone planning a move to Australia or still settling in.
Who Is Val?
Val is a logistics professional who works in air freight. She studied logistics and supply chain management in Ukraine and Poland.
Her first move abroad was a six-month exchange program in Poland in 2018. She later lived in Georgia, then returned to Poland and joined the logistics company she'd wanted to work for since university.
That company has since taken her to the US and then to Australia. Before her US move, she sent more than 300 resumes, and the role she eventually got came from a direct LinkedIn message to the hiring manager.
Small Talk in Australia
What it is
Small talk is the short, friendly chat Australians have with people they don't know well. It includes questions like "How are you?" and "How was your day?", often from strangers.
Why it surprised Val
Val says small talk with strangers isn't usual for many Eastern Europeans. When people in the US and Australia stopped her to chat or give her a compliment, she found it "so weird at the beginning" and had to adjust.
How Australia compares with the US
Val expected the US and Australia to feel similar, but found real differences. In the US she felt she had to think carefully about what she said, while in Australia she found people "very easygoing", with some limits.
Making Friends in Australia
Why it can take time
Val found Australians very friendly and happy to listen, but she says they "still have their circle", and that circle often starts at school. Many Australian adults are still close to the friends they grew up with.
I see the same thing with my own students, especially in the bigger cities. If people don't move away from where they grew up, it can take a while to become part of their group.
What worked for Val
Val started with Facebook groups for people looking for friends in Melbourne and went to a few meetups, which she jokingly called "dating". She then joined social clubs built around the things she believes in and the people she wanted to spend time with, and she says things were much better from then on.
Stepping out of your comfort zone
Val describes herself as an introvert. Her view is that "if you are an immigrant, you have to become an extrovert", because otherwise it's very hard to build a social life in a new country.
Australian Workplace Culture
Work-life balance
Val says that in the US, "people live to work". Australians tend to work to live, and Val noticed that Australian workers know their rights and protect their time.
Pace and reply times
One of Val's biggest adjustments was how long things can take. Compared with the US, she found replies slower and deadlines harder to push, and in logistics this is partly because many overseas partners are asleep or offline during Australian business hours.
A flatter hierarchy
Val says both the US and Australia have less strict hierarchy than Europe. In Australia, your boss can be on friendly terms with you. In my own jobs in Australia, it wasn't unusual to have a Friday drink with the floor manager, as long as it didn't affect the working relationship.
Differences between states
Val works with teams in Victoria, New South Wales, Western Australia and Queensland, and she says they all have different personalities. She noticed people in Victoria often stay in the office until 6 or 7 pm, while New South Wales colleagues are more likely to clock off on time. She finds Queensland the most laid-back, and says her Brisbane team jokes through official meetings and still does some of the best work of all her offices.
Tipping and Pricing in Australia
After living in the US, Val was used to adding tax and a tip to every bill. In Australia, tipping isn't expected, and GST is already included in menu and shop prices.
Some cafes and restaurants add a surcharge on weekends or public holidays, and some offer a tip option on the payment screen. Tipping is optional and usually reserved for great service.
Australian Slang at Work and Across States
Arvo
Arvo means afternoon. Val's colleagues use it every day, and when her manager moved to Australia from the US, Val sent her a private message after a meeting to explain what "Wednesday arvo" meant.
How ya going?
"How are you going?" is an Australian way of saying "How are you?" The first time I said it to my husband on the phone, he told me he wasn't going anywhere, he was at home.
Regional slang
Slang changes from state to state. Val found that the names for beer glass sizes, like a pot or a schooner, are different in Victoria and Queensland. Pokies (poker machines) is common across Australia, but where I grew up on the Mid North Coast of New South Wales, we also said "have a slap" on the pokies, which most Australians have never heard.
Keeping Your Cultural Identity While Adapting to Australia
What home means now
Val says that if she went back to Ukraine, she wouldn't feel at home anymore, because "every country shaped me differently". Today, home is the place where she has friends, and the people closest to her: her family, her partner and her dog.
Living in the middle
Val describes ending up "in the middle" of every country she's lived in. It's hard to become fully part of your new country, and at the same time you're no longer a full part of your home country, which she says is "just something you have to accept".
I call myself an in-betweener. Living in India, I feel too Australian for India and not quite Australian enough for Australia anymore.
How Val stays connected to her Ukrainian roots
Val's family says she's more patriotic now than when she lived in Ukraine. In Melbourne she goes to Ukrainian cultural events, speaks Ukrainian with her local friends, and celebrates Ukrainian customs with her girlfriends.
For Ukrainian Orthodox Easter, she and her girlfriends went to a church to paint eggs, an old custom she says she would never have done back in Ukraine.
Staying present in Australia
Outside those events, Val's social clubs, work and daily life are all connected to Australian culture. She tries to stay in the moment, "not to sit in a bubble of the old memories, but to create new ones".
Val's Advice for Moving Abroad
Val's first piece of advice is to decide which country you want to move to and research its visa options. She chose Australia partly because she found the system transparent, with known visa types and points requirements.
Her second is to understand your budget. Moving with an employer or a job offer makes it easier, but housing, food and everyday costs in Australia are high.
She also recommends watching YouTube channels and creators who film daily life in the country to get a feel for it, and notes that moving is generally harder with children.
Most importantly, she says, is the language, and in Australia that includes the slang.
What This Means for You
If you're finding it hard to make friends in Australia, look for people who share your interests. My students have made friends through a women's social basketball club in Brisbane and a board game club in Melbourne.
Staying within your own community is completely understandable, and it's comfortable. At some stage, though, if you want to really thrive in Australia, it helps to step outside it as well.
Don't worry if slang catches you out, even after years in the country. Australians often don't realise which words are slang or regional, so asking "What does that mean?" is normal.
And you can keep your culture close while building a full life in Australia. Val does both, and so do many of the students I work with at Aussie English with Amanda.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it hard to make friends in Australia as a migrant?
It can take time, because many Australians keep close friendships from school. Joining clubs and groups built around your interests is one of the easiest ways to meet people.
Do you need to tip in Australia?
No. Tipping is optional in Australia and usually reserved for great service. GST is already included in menu prices.
What does arvo mean in Australian English?
Arvo means afternoon. You'll hear it at work and socially, for example "See you Wednesday arvo."
Can you keep your cultural identity after moving to Australia?
Yes. Val keeps her Ukrainian traditions, language and community in her life in Melbourne while also taking part in Australian life through work and social clubs.
Key takeaways
• Small talk with strangers is normal in Australia and can feel strange at first if it isn't common in your culture.
• Australians are friendly but often keep friendship circles from school, so interest-based clubs are a good way to make friends.
• Australian workplaces tend to have a flatter hierarchy and a strong focus on work-life balance, and culture can differ between states.
• Tipping isn't expected in Australia, and GST is included in listed prices.
• Slang such as arvo and pokies is part of everyday Australian English, and some slang is regional.
• You can stay connected to your culture and still build a full life in Australia.
If you'd like to feel more confident in conversations like these, grab my free Aussie Small Talk Playbook
How to contact Val
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valeri.diaries
